Saturday, January 13, 2007

these are some of my old myspace blogs

Thursday, December 21, 2006
oh, that's right, another trip to the airport... :)
Current mood: happy
last night, i went to pick up my mom from the airport, but let's start with my trip to get coffee...
i was really craving some starbucks, so i figured that i would pick up my soy latte on the way to the airport. well, i went to the cafe in barnes-n-noble, and there were a few other people there, so i'm not sure if that was the problem or what, but the barista made a non-fat (skim milk) latte instead of a soy latte. this has happened a few times before, and when the drinks have been re-made, they've been pretty gross. however, i really wanted the latte, so when she announced it, i told her that it was supposed to be soy, and she looked at the cup, then said "you're right, you're right," then made a new one. however, the soy milk was so hot that the machine was making all of this noise, and i just knew that it wasn't going to be good. of course, it was so hot that i couldn't even take a sip at that point, so i just said "thank you" and left.

i drank a bit of the latte after i got onto the turnpike, and it was super hot and nasty. i tried it again after it had cooled a smidge, and it was still gross, so i just left it alone. i was pretty bummed since i had gotten a venti, thinking that it would be a delicious treat on the way to the airport :)

i got to newark around 9:40 p.m. and found out that my mom's plane was delayed 5 minutes, which was great, because it gave me time to get to the gate to wait for her. another flight came in, i think from miami, and people were hugging and smiling and such, and it was great to see.
around 10:00 p.m., more people started coming out, and then i saw my mom. i held up the sign that i had made for her, and she totally cracked up, bending over and everything, it was awesome. i said "so you're happy to be home, huh?" and she kissed her hand and put it down near the floor, like she was kissing the floor, and said "i don't know why he loves that Godforsaken country!" suffice it to say, my mom did not enjoy venezuela, lol.

we went to the baggage area, and i told her about my icky coffee and asked her if she might want it, and she said sure, so i told her that she could have it when we got to the car (i hadn't brought it in with me). there were a lot of people waiting for their bags, so we kind of stayed to the back and talked.

my mom said that she liked monica, my brother's now-wife, but the funny thing was how she said "monica." jeremy says it with a spanish take on it, and it sounds kind of like "moanika." of course, we say it like other people would around here, as "monica." well, my mom apparently thought that she could say it the spanish way, only she can't, so it ended up sounded like "monique-a." yeah. lol. my mom is too much! :) so i told her that she wasn't saying it right, and she said "i can say it that way, i'll say it how i want to say it." i told her that she was calling her by a completely different name and should just stick with "monica," lol.

there was some sort of problem with the baggage door on the plane, so it literally took until 11:30 p.m. for us to get her two bags of luggage. yeah. an hour and a half. nice.

when we left the airport, i thought we should take route 9, which meant that we had to go through elizabeth. normally, this would be fine, but they were doing some construction or something on one of the streets (yes, at 11:30 p.m., great timing), so there was a detour, and we got totally lost.

after driving around for 15 minutes, i called onstar for help. this is the second time that i've called them when i was lost, and again i was told that it wasn't part of my package and that i would have to upgrade if i needed directions. to be honest, the onstar is free for a year (it came with the car), and i have no idea what the purpose of it is, since i have to "upgrade" to just get directions. it's pretty silly. but anyway, the woman helped us get to the turnpike, and we made it to my mom's around 12:30 a.m., then i was home around 1:30 a.m. later than i expected, but not terrible, and i was really awake, so it was okay.

so how was my mom's trip? let's see...she had a turbulent flight there (i'm not sure which flight; she went from newark to san juan, then from san juan to caracas), which was also like 7 hours long, then a 5 hour car ride. she told the guy who came to pick her up at the airport, jack, that she had no bolivares (that's venezuelan money; it's completely worthless here, by the way-there's not even any exchange for it, it's so worthless), but he told her that they could exchange her american dollars in valencia. well, by the time they got to valencia, it was too late, so she had a problem with the guy at the hotel, because he wouldn't take dollars. and the hotel? there was some huge gate around it, with a guard who checked her identification before letting her in, and the windows had broken, jagged glass at the top, so that people wouldn't break in. nice.

as for the rest of her stay there...she was happy to see jeremy (my brother), and she really liked monica and her family, but she hated the country. she said that it's dirty (as in soap and water dirty), there are garbage bags everywhere, people drive like maniacs, and the most upsetting thing was that there were stray dogs all over the place. my mom was pretty upset about that. there aren't even any animal shelters.

she also does not know any spanish, so she wasn't able to communicate with most of the people there, except for jeremy and his friend eric, and monica's friend's sister, who apparently is going to college and is fluent in english. one day, they went to monica's family's house, and jeremy said that they would just be there for a little bit, but that turned into like 4 hours. i told my mom that it seems to be part of that culture, and while it used to bug jeremy when he first got there, he has apparently adapted to it.

one day, she went to the beach with jeremy, monica, eric and vanessa (eric's fiance), and they were all lovey-dovey with each other, so my mom felt really left out. totally understandable, and i felt bad for her.

another day, they were out somewhere, like some kind of festival with lights, and my mom fell. jeremy nicely said "you have to watch where you're going," which i think upset her a little.
i don't really know what the deal is with jeremy, but he had said that he was really tired from entertaining everyone and translating and making sure everyone was okay; um, it was 6 days. not even 6 days, since technically he didn't see everyone until saturday, and they left on wednesday morning. needless to say, i'm pretty disappointed in my brother.

so the moral of the story? well, let's just say that my icky coffee was totally cold by the time we got back to the car, which means that even if it was delicious, it would have been undrinkable...and since i was the one who originally was supposed to go to venezuela with my mom, then had a disagreement with my brother and ended up not going...
everything happens for a reason.

Currently listening : Love Actually By Various Artists Release date: By 11 November, 2003
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Tuesday, December 19, 2006
what a wonderful hockey treat! :)
Current mood: cheerful
i went to my mom's tonight to do laundry, and i was so pleasantly surprised to see that she gets a few hockey channels-i had no idea! :)

not only did i get to watch "inside the rangers," but i also watched the beginning of the rangers game. i decided to switch over to the devils game since i'm a bigger devils fan, but also because my favorite ranger, henrik lundquist, the goalie, was out due to the flu.

i was pretty excited, thinking that i can now watch hockey there whenever a game is on, but then i remembered that my mom would usually be home (she's still in venezuela right now), and she probably wouldn't go for the whole "let's watch hockey!" thing, lol. oh, well, i'm still going to try... :)

Currently listening : Something to Be By Rob Thomas Release date: By 19 April, 2005
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Monday, December 18, 2006
erin's "first" quizzy! :)
Current mood: dorky
who was your first?
1.Who was your first prom date?
peter schnell, junior prom
2. Who was your first roommate?
i never had a roommate; but mark was the first person i lived with
3. What alcoholic beverage did you first drink?
screwdriver, when i was 12-13
4. What was your first job?
file clerk in a law office
5. What was your first car?
1998 saturn sl-2 (silver plum)
6. Who was your first grade teacher?
Mrs. McHenry
7. Where did you go on your first ride on an airplane?
the only times i've been on a plane was when my mom was pregnant with me, flying to germany, and when we came back to new jersey from germany, when i was about 1
8. When you snuck out of your house for the first time, who was it with?
i didn't ever have to sneak out; there were no rules in my house
9. Who was your first best friend and are you still friends with them?
charissa meurle and no, we aren't friends anymore
10. Where was your first sleepover?
you would think at charissa's, but i remember being at vanessa hoffman's house when i was 5
11. Who is the first person you talk to in the morning?
usually tracy, at work
12. Whose wedding were you in the first time?
my aunt karen's-i was the flower girl, and my mom had this grand idea of having my hair cut super, super short. i was 7 at the time, so i basically looked like a boy. nice.
13. What is the first thing you do in the morning?
after hitting snooze a few times? :) i stretch and say good morning to rain, who by then has just about had it with me hitting snooze and wants to be fed, darn it! :)
14. What was the first concert you ever went to?
cyndi lauper and tina turner
15. First tattoo or piercing?
aside from ears? i have one tattoo, on my back, which i got in july 2003; and a belly piercing, which i got in october 2003
16. First celebrity crush?
i honestly can't remember anyone before donnie walberg, back when new kids on the block was the best group ever, lol. i used to do his "move"-do you guys remember that?
17. First crush?
richard ebert
18. First TRUE love?
mark
19. When was your first detention?
LOL! i was such a good student...my first detention was in 9th grade, because i was late to science class (first period)
20. What was the name of your first pet?
amber (dog)
21. First kiss?
richard ebert kissed me on the cheek in second grade; my first kiss-kiss was with buddy, when i was 16-talk about a late bloomer! lol
22. Who was the first person to break your heart?
mark
23. Who will be the first to repost this?
no clue, someone who likes quizzies, i guess! :)

Currently listening : How To Save A Life By The Fray Release date: By 13 September, 2005
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my poor mother! :(
Current mood: a little worried...
so i finally got my voicemail messages today from friday (let's just say i'm dumb and leave it at that, lol), and there was one from my mom and one from jeremy.

my mom sounded very, very tired and not very happy. she said that she doesn't understand "why jeremy is so in love with this country." she also said that maybe it was good that i didn't go, because the plane ride was very turbulent. it took 7 hours to get to caracas, and then she had a 5 hour car ride to get to the hotel.

ouch.

jeremy left a message a few hours later, saying that he wouldn't see my mom til the next day, since she was probably sleeping (it was almost 1:00 a.m. at this point).

i have a feeling that when i pick her up on wednesday night, she's going to be very thankful to be home again :)

on a happy note, here's part of my brother's e-mail to me today:
mom is ok, she´s having some difficulty understanding a bit of the culture, and we´ve had her running around a bit, from hotel to scott´s, now we´re at the beach, hopefully gonna relax tomorrow at the beach, she hasn´t said anything, though she was mad at the hotel guy, it turned out to be more than i thought, but she was just not understanding why they wouldn´t let her pay in $$...
...at the wedding...she is a trooper, stayed til almost 2am, wedanced to "mama" by boyz II men, good times...not tradition here,either, to dance with mom...
...we are sharing a room tonight, the 3 of us. she seems happy, laid back, practicing spanish...

Currently listening : How To Save A Life By The Fray Release date: By 13 September, 2005
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a trip to the airport...with my mother... :)
Current mood: happy
i wish everyone could meet my mother at some point in their lives. she is absolutely, hands down, the kookiest sane person in the world. i know, it sounds like i'm exaggerating; but trust me, i'm totally not :)

here are a few examples: i answer the phone at work by saying "hi, this is debbie, can i help you?" and if it's my mom calling, she'll say "this is linda, and there's no help for me," or "this is linda, and you already know that there's no help for me." :) she answers her work phone by saying "vims (then our last name)," and i'll say "hello, vims." recently, she's replied with "just don't put that on my headstone." :)

kooky, right?? :) okay, it gets even better, lol. she likes to go to these weird things, like wedding reinactments and funeral reinactments; back in september 2004, she went to england/ireland/scotland/wales, and ever since, she thinks she's part irish (she's not). she likes to say "ireland" like "irrrrrreland." and yet she has it in her head that when she retires, she wants to move to oregon. has she ever been there? nope. does she know anyone there? nope.
so that's a bit of the background on my mom :)

she originally thought that she was going to drive herself to the airport at 2:00 a.m. and leave her car there, but i told her that i would take her. i have to say, i think it's great that my mom hasn't had any accidents (she's been in a few, but she wasn't driving), but she is a very scary person to be in the car with, even at 8:00 p.m., so i didn't want her on the road at 2:00 a.m. she did this thing one night when we were going out to dinner where she was in the right lane on route 9, and a car pulled out of a parking lot, onto the shoulder, and she literally hit her brakes, because she "didn't know where they were going." and by hitting her brakes, i don't mean that she slowed down; i mean that she literally stopped. i think she's getting worse as she gets older, which tends to happen.

anyway. it was really, really foggy on friday morning, so i'm glad that i went to get her; there was no way that i wanted her driving in the fog. i left my place at 1:30 a.m., wearing regular clothes, but with the addition of my pink disney princesses hat. don't get me started on how much i love disney princesses! :) actually, my favorite is cinderella :) when my ex and i went to see "princesses on ice" last october, he bought me the hat, and this is the first time i've actually worn it out.

i was feeling pretty good, i was really awake, plus i had the music going, and when i got off of 195, i started playing some notorious b.i.g. actually, my favorite, favorite song is the one with him and bone-thugs-and-harmony, i don't know the name of it, but it goes "it's bone and biggy biggy, it's bone and biggy biggy," etc. i always feel really tough when i play it, lol. well, i got to a light, and was turning, and this guy in his car looked my way (probably just wondering why anyone else was on the road at that hour; it wasn't like it was a friday night or something), and i looked over, then kept driving, and i just started cracking up. here i was, listening to b.i.g., feeling all gangsta, in my saturn, wearing my disney princesses hat, lol. so, so gangsta, i really am! :)

i got to my mom's around 2:30 a.m., and she was all ready to go, had all of her bags packed and at the door, so we loaded the car and were off.

i asked her if she was cold, because i didn't have the heat on, and she said that she was warm and asked if i could put her window down a bit. i think she was having a mini panic attack or something, because she was in this light long-sleeved shirt, but was really warm. plus, she wasn't breathing properly. she was really nervous. i was trying to tell her about things that had gone on at work, etc., and it was like she wasn't even listening. i finally tapped her on the arm and said "mom, you have to calm down."

apparently, my brother's friend had been over the night before, to give my mom a card and money for jeremy, and she was warning my mom about caracas, which is where the airport is in venezuela. her family is from venezuela (actually, jeremy "dated" her cousin here and there since moving to venezuela), so she is familiar with what goes on. well, she basically scared my mom so much that she couldn't calm down. she told her to hide her money all over herself (like in her socks and her bra, etc.), and said that people might come up to my mom and ask her if she wants help with her bags, and my mom should just tell them "no." she also said that there will be people at the airport with guns, you know, armed men, and my mom should be prepared for that.

nice.

my mom and i got to the airport around 3:20 a.m. for those of you who travel, this is a bit early to be at the airport. my mom's flight was at 6:25 a.m., so she wanted to be nice and early (especially because it was an international flight), but the ticket counter didn't open until 4:00 a.m., so we basically just stood around and waited. on the way into the airport, i asked her where she got her ugly pocketbook, and she said that it was from my grandmother, "for good luck." the thing was hideous, i am not even kidding. i also don't believe in luck, but if it helped to make my mom feel better, i was all for it.

while we waited, my mom worried about her luggage, and whether her bags were going to be too heavy. i read her the sign about baggage weight, and when you may have to pay extra, but then she wandered over to look at the sign, anyway. can we say distracted? lol.

one of the best moments was when we were waiting, before the ticket counter opened, and a woman came over and said that anyone flying through miami should go in line 1, and all others should go in line 2. well, my mom, who was flying through puerto rico to caracas, took off in a fast walk towards the woman. i knew she was going to ask her what line she belonged in. i yelled "mom!" and motioned for her to come back. she had this look on her face that she gets a lot, which is like a combination of wonder and confusion. i said "mom, you are not flying through miami, you know that, so we need to go in line 2." she just said "okay, okay," and we moved. she really wasn't talking much, so i think she was getting even more nervous.

while we waited in line 2, we saw one guy at the counter who started emptying this huge suitcase. we figured that he was over the weight limit, because he started putting clothes into a plastic bag, probably his carry-on. at another spot at the counter, four guys in hunting outfits were checking their things...which included guns. not just guns, actually; rifles. yeah. i was completely disgusted. i gave them dirty looks and said that they were sick, but i don't think they heard me. they were obviously here to hunt and kill poor animals. sick bastards. i told my mom that if she sat next to them on the plane, she should tell them that her daughter is a vegan and she thinks that hunting is disgusting. she said that she didn't think they would be in first class, lol.

then my mom and i got up to the counter, and the guy was really nice. he told us that since my mom was flying business class, we didn't have to wait in line. can you belive it? you can tell that this was the first time she's ever flown business class (thanks to jeremy's friend, who bought the tickets for her). he told my mom that on the way back, she can just go to the business class line, so she doesn't have to wait, and she said, all serious, "okay. i'll try to remember that." i tapped her on the arm and said "mom! you need to calm down." i told the guy that she was nervous, and she said the same thing. he told her not to be nervous, but i'm sure she was thinking about being on the plane by herself, then having to change planes in puerto rico by herself, then getting to the airport in caracas by herself, where she may see people with guns. not exactly comforting, you know?

after that, we wandered around the airport until 5:00 a.m., then she went to get through security, and i waved her off, then left.

i have to say, every single time i go to the airport, even though there have been some sad times, i really do enjoy it. of course, if i had to get on a plane, i might feel differently... :)

Currently listening : Life After Death By The Notorious B.I.G. Release date: By 25 March, 1997
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so true...
Current mood: thoughtful
How Hilary Swank Survived Divorce
FRIDAY DECEMBER 15, 2006 07:30 PM EST
When Hilary Swank and Chad Lowe revealed they were divorcing in May, most fans figured the double Oscar-winner had gotten too famous for her lower-profile husband. "Absolutely not," Swank, 32, says in a new interview. "Millions of men and women fall in love, get married, then get divorced," she says in the January issue of Reader's Digest. "If what happened to me helps someone realize they're in a great relationship and to hold the person closer, then do it. If it makes someone realize they're in an unhealthy relationship that is making them both unhappy, then it's not the end of the world." So how did Swank survive the split? "You rely on your friends when you go through something so big," she says. "My friends are my family."

Currently listening : Daughtry By Daughtry Release date: By 21 November, 2006
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Tuesday, December 12, 2006
today is...
Current mood: thoughtful
my nephew's 10th birthday!!!! :) can you believe it?? okay, if you don't know my nephew (or me, really, for that matter), then you can believe it; but if you do know him, aren't you shocked?? :)

here's the little story about my nephew: my one brother (i have two), eric, and his girlfriend at the time, jessy, had my nephew back on december 12th, 1996 (obviously, lol). at the time, i was pretty angry about the whole situation; i had just turned 16 two months earlier, and my mom had basically told me that a lot of her time was going to be taken up by my nephew, her grandson, once he was born. this, along with the fact that my brother was 21 at the time, did not sit well with me. i didn't go see jessy at the hospital, and i pretty much stayed away from all three of them when we were home together (that's the other thing-jessy had moved in with us several months earlier).

well, within a few weeks, my mom started to push gage into my arms to hold him, then to feed him, and sure enough, he totally grew on me, and i loved him to bits :)

i would take gage for walks around the block after work, then to the park once i started driving, and i loved spending time with him :)

however, things happened with jessy and eric, and they broke up, so jessy moved out and took gage with her. he would still come over all the time, especially on weekends, and it was always great to see him :)

then i moved out, with my now ex, just a little before i turned 22, and that's pretty much where my relationship with gage totally changed. he was 5 at the time, and because i stopped seeing him so much, from that point on, we just weren't close anymore. it's a shame.

but i still love him, and i can't believe that he's actually 10 years old today...time definitely flies, doesn't it?...

Currently listening : Daughtry By Daughtry Release date: By 21 November, 2006
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Monday, December 11, 2006
um...
Current mood: confused
this is from my brudder today:
civil ceremony, pool, beach, friends, food...your brother is now amarried man. what do u think about that?

i am confused. very, very confused. my mom is flying down to venezuela this friday (i was supposed to go with her, but am not going now-long story, but let's just say that i don't fly and leave it at that), to be at my brother's wedding on saturday, december 16th.
so how is it that he's already married?

so confused!!

Currently listening : How To Save A Life By The Fray Release date: By 13 September, 2005
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Thursday, December 07, 2006
wow...
Current mood: kind of weirded out, but totally happy
so i went to target today to buy "pirates of the caribbean 2" for my brother, for my mom to take with her to venezuela, and i was passing the card section and stopped to get a "congratulations" card, and that's when it hit me...my brother is actually getting married, in a week and two days.
isn't that crazy??

it's like boggling my mind right now. i looked through several cards, found a cute one, then picked up the movie, and just thought about how things are totally going to change soon.

it's very weird.

my brother is 29, and i guess i just pictured him being a bachelor for a few more years, but he seems happy, so i'm happy for him.

but it's still weird :)

so yes, that's my big present for him, a movie, lol. money is super tight, but he LOVES those movies, so i know he'll be really excited about it. i'm also copying some cds for him, so at least he'll have some good (current) music to listen to as well :)

i still can't believe he's getting married...

Currently listening : Daughtry By Daughtry Release date: By 21 November, 2006
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Monday, December 04, 2006
this is really sick...
Current mood: grossed out! :)
brace yourselves, this is pretty gross...

a few years ago, i noticed that my feet looked a little differently than other people's feet, specifically my friend heather's feet, and i thought that i was normal and she was weird.
well, as usual, i'm the weird one :)

it turns out that i have these bunions on both feet, they're very prominent, and they've actually physically rubbed holes into several pairs of shoes. pretty embarrassing.

up until this point, i've just dealt with them, no big deal, but for the past week or so, the one on my right foot has become really painful, especially at night, and has even woken me up several times.

so today i went to the podiatrist.

it turns out that i have bunions, bunionettes (located near my pinky toes), hammertoe, and flat feet. i also have super-tight achilles tendons, like some of the tightest she's seen, and this is actually a really bad thing, because the tightness causes the flat foot, which then causes the bunions, bunionettes and hammertoe.

gross!

i have to go for x-rays, then see her again to review the films and discuss my options...which really means, discuss which surgery might be appropriate.

ouch! :(

i'm happy that i went, but i will be super frightened if i have to get surgery...although that seems to be inevitable, since she said that these problems don't get any better. in fact, even with surgery on the bunions, i would still probably have to wear some sort of lift thingy for my flat feet, because otherwise, i would just get the bunions all over again (there is surgery for the achilles tendon, but there is no way i'm getting that done!).

:(

Currently listening : A Fever You Can't Sweat Out By Panic! At The Disco Release date: By 27 September, 2005
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Sunday, December 03, 2006
on the other hand...
Current mood: okay
sometimes it's nice to talk with people randomly...
i had an awful day at work on thursday (i literally left at 3:00 p.m., in tears, and came home), and stayed home on friday. when i went online later in the day, i ended up getting a huge self-esteem boost and felt a lot better, because someone i haven't talked with in a while randomly im'd me and we had a nice conversation.

thanks, george! :)

Currently listening : A Fever You Can't Sweat Out By Panic! At The Disco Release date: By 27 September, 2005
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Friday, December 01, 2006
who knew? gotta love those hockey players... :)
Current mood: curious
Willa Ford Engaged to Hockey Player Beau
FRIDAY DECEMBER 01, 2006 01:45PM EST
By Stephen M. Silverman
Former Dancing with the Stars contestant Willa Ford and hockey player Mike Modano are engaged to be married. "Look, I'm engaged," Ford told Extra at the Arby's Action Sports Awards in Los Angeles on Thursday where she showed off a sparkler. In November, amid reports that she and her Dancing partner Maksim Chmerkovskiy were an item, the Florida native and self-professed "bad girl of pop" told PEOPLE of Modano, who is a center for the Dallas Stars: "Mike and I have been off and on for four and a half years. We kept (it) out of the press as much as possible." As for her relationship with Chmerkovskiy, Ford told PEOPLE: "Maks and I were like fire, and there was a lot of passion in our dancing." Of her engagement she told Extra: "Everybody thought it was going to be Max. Max is a great friend."

Currently listening : Something to Be By Rob Thomas Release date: By 19 April, 2005
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Thursday, November 30, 2006
so bizarre... Current mood: weirded out
does this happen to you?

someone who you don't even talk to, who clearly reads your away notes, instant messages you in response to whatever your away notes say...

bizarre.

don't people have better things to do than read my away notes? especially people who i don't even talk with on a regular basis?

just bizarre.

Currently listening : A Fever You Can't Sweat Out By Panic! At The Disco Release date: By 27 September, 2005
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Saturday, November 25, 2006
old school
Current mood: good
my friend heather is home from boston for thanksgiving, and i went over her house last night, got there around 9:30 p.m., we talked, went to starbucks for an hour, came back, talked some more...yeah, we didn't go to sleep until 5:30 a.m., then were awake by 10:00 a.m.

how awesome is that? lol. okay, it's totally corny, i know, but i'm totally corny, so it's fine :) i just love it, it's so old school, having a sleepover, staying up late, talking about boys, etc. it's the kind of thing that, in a few years, won't really be happening anymore, unfortunately, because of people getting married, having children, etc. it also just felt really good to catch up, since i haven't seen her since march.

Currently listening : All the Right Reasons By Nickelback Release date: By 05 October, 2005
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Monday, November 20, 2006
today
Current mood: sad
i was driving back to work on my lunch break, and the song "heaven" came on the radio. in case you haven't heard this version, it's a re-make of the brian adams song, and it's done by a girl, dj sammy (maybe it's a group, i have no idea, but it's a girl who sings), and she actually does two versions of it, one fast and one slow. well, this was the slow one, and it made me so sad, i started to cry.

i felt sad throughout the rest of the day, and got pretty emotional at one point, while on the phone with my mom (still at work), and again tonight, while i was at my mom's doing laundry and talking with her...

have you ever cried in such a way that you gave yourself a really intense headache? that's how i feel right now. and the weird thing is, i didn't cry all that much, just a bit earlier today and then again tonight, but i definitely have a big headache now...i think it's time for bed.

Currently listening : Heaven By DJ Sammy Release date: By 06 August, 2002
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Monday, November 13, 2006
the cutest couple, seriously :)
Current mood: happy
Grey's Anatomy's Ellen Pompeo Is Engaged
MONDAY NOVEMBER 13, 2006 12:40PM EST
By Stephen M. Silverman with Elizabeth Leonard
Grey's Anatomy star Ellen Pompeo and her boyfriend, record producer Chris Ivery, are engaged, PEOPLE has confirmed. Ivery proposed to Pompeo on Friday, her 37th birthday, after breakfast at home. "She was surprised and thrilled," the actress's rep tells PEOPLE. Ivery presented Pompeo with a 3.5-carat emerald-cut diamond in a platinum setting from jewelry designer Tacori. Pompeo and Ivery, 37, both Boston-area natives, grew up minutes away from each other, but didn't meet until pals introduced them in Los Angeles in 2003. They didn't start dating right away. "We were friends for six months; then one night she just looked different to me," Ivery told PEOPLE in October. Their relationship is laid-back. "We had a great day yesterday," Pompeo told PEOPLE. "We walked on the beach, then we came home, took a shower and went out for sushi. Then we laid on the couch with the dogs and watched TV."

Pompeo added, "We were six degrees our whole lives, so I feel like we were sort of meant to be. We'll get married eventually, secretly." According to Pompeo's rep, no wedding date has been set.

Currently listening : PCD By The Pussycat Dolls Release date: By 13 September, 2005
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Sunday, November 12, 2006
church! :)
Current mood: good
my mom and i FINALLY went to church this morning. are you confused? okay, here's the background:

when i was a teenager, i kind of stopped believing in God. to be honest, i'm not sure what i really believed in; my family stopped going to church when i was younger, and i stopped going to ccd classes because i was so shy, so i never made my first communion or whatever it's called.

anyway, due to some things that happened in my personal life, i started to really believe in God, and changed my attitude from "whatever happens, happens" to "everything happens for a reason." i went to church again with my now ex-boyfriend, only a few times, because he hated going, but i really enjoyed it. i also went to one of my brother's friend's gatherings, which was in a park, very relaxed, and fun.

fast forward to september (2006), when i started asking my mom to go to church with me. she kind of put me off at first, saying that she didn't want to get up early, then saying that she didn't feel well, etc., until she talked with my aunt recently and she suggested going to a unitarian church. my mom grew up going to catholic schools (nuns and all), so she really wasn't down with going to a roman catholic church. i'm up for anything, so i agreed to go with her to the unitarian church this morning.

my mom totally enjoyed it; i think the best part was that they really accept all people and all backgrounds, and don't judge anyone. there was a big banner out front about gay marriage, and the focus of the service today was the environment and caring for the earth. it was totally great for a tree-hugger like me :)

oh, and another great part of the morning? when this woman came over to talk with us, and asked me "so are you in 8th or 9th grade?" yep. no kidding.

:)

Currently reading : Baby Proof By Emily Giffin Release date: By 13 June, 2006
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Wednesday, November 08, 2006
animal cruelty :(
Current mood: disappointed in my stupidity :(
i found out on monday that my wonderful, lovely pink puffy jacket (as i call it) actually has feathers in it...no joke...i've had the coat for 2 years and never knew, how sick is that?? :(

in case you guys don't know, i'm totally vegan, which means that feathers are a big no-no...and i'm really surprised that i didn't read the label on my jacket more carefully to see that it had feathers in it; it's like the cardinal rule of veganism to read labels, and i've been vegan since i was 17, so this is by no means new to me...

so the pink puffy jacket is going to be donated to the salvation army or whoever...which means that i don't have a winter jacket now...which makes me sad :(

Currently listening : Me and My Gang By Rascal Flatts Release date: By 04 April, 2006
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Tuesday, November 07, 2006
chris daughtry!!!! :)
Current mood: so excited!!!! :)
oh my gosh, i totally deleted my last myspace profile, but if any of you read my blogs on there, you would know how infatuated i am with chris daughtry...

the background on this is that my ex-boyfriend and i watched the last season of "american idol," and oh my goodness, chris daughtry was sexy and amazing, and i was really, really hoping that he would win. he didn't, but don't fret, because he has his own album coming out in november!! :)

i heard his first single yesterday after work, and i was thinking, this is weird, i totally recognize this voice...and then i realized that it was chris daughtry!!!! :) he sounds amazing-and sexy-of course :)

i am SO excited, can you tell?? :)

Currently listening : Daughtry By Daughtry Release date: By 21 November, 2006
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let's break it down now!
Current mood: silly
so my friend heather e-mailed me around 4:00 p.m. today to tell me that britney spears and kevin federline are getting divorced (she knows that i LOVE relationships-that's why i'm going to be a marriage counselor/couples therapist-especially celebrities, i don't know why, but i do), and of course, it was no shocker, but can i just say that i've thought, pretty much from the beginning, that they had some sort of arrangement going...like she really wanted kids, right? so she makes him a deal, that if he gives her a couple of babies, she'll get him a record contract. did anyone notice how she had her second baby like right after the first one? and now k-fed has his music career going along, which means that they both got what they wanted...and now it's over.
i don't think anyone is going to be crying over this one...but it will be so interesting to see if k-fed gets back together with his ex-girlfriend (and mother of his other two kids), won't it? then it would be kind of like "indecent proposal" ;)

Currently listening : Toxic By Britney Spears Release date: By 03 February, 2004
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"all at once"-i LOVE this song...
Current mood: thoughtful
"there are certain people
you just keep coming back to
she is right in front of you
you begin to wonder
could you find a better one
compared to her
now she's in question
and all at once, the crowd begins to sing
sometimes the hardest thing
and the right thing
are the same
maybe you want her
maybe you need her
maybe you started to compare
to someone not there
looking for the right one
you line up the world to find
where no questions cross your mind
but she won't keep on waiting
for you without a doubt
much longer for you to sort it out
and all at once, the crowd begins to sing
sometimes the hardest thing
and the right thing
are the same
maybe you want her
maybe you need her
maybe you started to compare
to someone not there
maybe you want it
maybe you need it
maybe it's all you're running from
perfection will not come
and all at once, the crowd begins to sing
sometimes
we'd never know what's wrong without the pain
sometimes the hardest thing
and the right thing
are the same
maybe you want her
maybe you need her
maybe you started to compare
to someone not there
maybe you want it
maybe you need it
maybe it's all you're running from
perfection will not come
maybe you want her
maybe you need her
maybe you had her
maybe you lost her
to another
to another"

Currently listening : How To Save A Life By The Fray Release date: By 13 September, 2005
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Saturday, November 04, 2006
this article is so true!
Current mood: super sleepies :)
Top 10 Reasons Why Men Won't Get Married

Young men want to get married. They really do. They want a wife, children and the house with the picket fence. They just don't want it right now. Instead, men ages 25 to 33 prefer to have fun, unencumbered by commitment and responsibility.That's the word from a new study called "The State of Our Unions" that concludes that young, educated, professional men don't want to commit to marriage, reports Ladies Home Journal. They place great value in the institution of marriage, but the single life beckons. Since today's men -- unlike their fathers and grandfathers -- don't have pressure from church, employers or society to get married, they aren't.

The researchers interviewed 60 heterosexual men in Chicago, parts of New Jersey, Washington, D.C. and Houston. For the most part they were employed full-time and earned between $21,000 to $35,000 annually. Most had either attended some college or graduated. None of them were married, although three of the men were fathers.The top 10 reasons young men don't want to get married now:1. They can have casual sex without marriage, something that is far more common today and accepted than in generations past.2. By living with a girlfriend, they can enjoy all the benefits of a wife without having to say, "I do." This is a no-risk way to test the idea of marriage.3. Men want to avoid the financial risks of divorce. What better way to do that than to not get married in the first place?4. Since they don't have to worry about their biological clocks, men say they want to wait until they are older to have children. They really do not want to be pressured into marriage by a woman whose primary goal is to have kids.
5. Their greatest fear is that marriage will require too many changes, compromises and responsibilities. After all, it's a lot more fun to play poker with the boys all night long.6. Men are romantics at heart. They believe in a soul mate, and they're willing to wait for her. What is a soul mate? Men define her as someone who accepts them just the way they are and does not want to change them. These men don't want to settle for second-best.7. There are very few social pressures to marry. While their dads were pressured by religion, employers or society to settle down and say "I do," men today are free from that.8. Men are reluctant to marry a woman who already has children, primarily to avoid competition and conflict with the children's biological father.9. They want to become a homeowner before they become a husband. Being established financially is an important goal many men want to achieve before they marry.10. Men want to enjoy the single life as long as possible, especially as they become accustomed to having their own space and routines and not being responsible to anyone else.

Currently listening : Paula Deanda By Paula Deanda Release date: By 29 August, 2006
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Wednesday, November 01, 2006
totally gross
Current mood: sickened
i was coming home from work on monday night, and there was a truck in front of me...and on the back of it was a little plastic deer with a bullseye on its chest.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE????

Currently listening : How To Save A Life By The Fray Release date: By 13 September, 2005
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Monday, October 30, 2006
fate
Current mood: happy
so this is a perfect example of fate...and i am a HUGE, HUGE, HUGE believer in fate...
i was coming home from work last night (the part-time job), and i knew that rain (my kitty cat) was super hungry, because i ran out of both wet food and dry food for her on saturday night, so she went without food all day (i tried to give her a piece of my luna bar, but she wasn't having it), and that meant that i had to either stop at the grocery store, or come home to her meowing for the rest of the night. obviously, i chose the grocery store :)

okay, so for any of you who know me, you know that i tend to get lost, but always find my way...well, this includes bordentown and the surrounding area, since i haven't really gone exploring at all since moving here in june, and i have no idea where anything really is. okay, so of course, while trying to find this acme that i've never been to, i got lost, and was driving around for 15 minutes, just totally lost in the middle of town, listening to sarah mclachlan and singing as loudly as possible (windows were up, thank you! lol), and let me just say, this isn't a very big town, so to drive for 15 minutes and still be lost was quite remarkable :) anyway, i finally found this main street, the name was totally familiar, and i just drove and drove until i came out to the main road...where acme was! :) woo hoo! :)

i went inside, got rain's food, went on my merry little way home...and when i got into my parking lot, there was a deer peeking out of the woods. no joke. i stopped the car and stared, thinking that i should grab my video camera (it's still in my car from my cousin's birthday party a few weeks ago; it takes a long time for things to leave my car, lol) but not knowing where the battery was, so i just sat there, watching these beautiful creatures. the first one came out, and then another, and then another, and they all walked across the parking lot to this wooded area, they were so, so beautiful, and i was just amazed. i absolutely love deer; if i ever win the lottery, i want to get a farm somewhere and put as many animals there as possible. but anyway :) it was a wonderful sight, and it was totally fate...because if i hadn't gotten lost, i wouldn't have gotten home at that time, and wouldn't have seen the deer.

it's just one of those little things that puts a smile on my face :)

Currently listening : Surfacing By Sarah McLachlan Release date: By 15 July, 1997
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Tuesday, October 24, 2006
this past friday...
Current mood: scared
i picked up little c (my 17 year old cousin), and we went driving around...and got slightly lost, but that's okay, we found our way (always do! lol), and then we did a little shopping...at victoria's secret. i have to say that this is the first time he's actually agreed to go in there with me, and while it was a little iffy (let's be serious, i was buying underwear here), we did all right :)

then we decided to go to the movies. normally, this would be fine, but he wanted to see "texas chainsaw massacre" (the prequel thing), and while i was thinking that it wasn't such a great idea (for me), i figured that i could just close my eyes through any icky parts.

yeah. did that work? nope, not at all :)

i closed my eyes AND covered them with my hands (i'm a big, big baby), and because i heard the sounds of everything happening, i ended up being completely freaked out, especially when we walked through the dark, empty parking lot. nice. at least there was a police officer patrolling around(which i took as a good sign, but i guess you can look at it as a bad sign as well, huh?).
when we went back to little c's house, we talked in the car for a bit, which we tend to do, but i left the car running, and still had my foot on the brake, even though about 40 minutes had gone by. in hindsight, i'm glad that i did, because it was now after midnight, and some guy came walking up to my side of the car. yeah. i was pretty frightened. he asked me to put my window down, which i did (a crack), and then he asked for money to "buy a calling card, i really need money, i have important calls to make, i have to call social security." i am not even kidding, he said that!! lol.

i told him that i don't carry cash on me (true, because i'm broke all the time), and then he asked "what about him?," meaning my cousin, and i said "he's only 16" and he said "oh, i'm sorry, i didn't realize you guys were so young." then he walked away. whew!

my heart was totally racing, but little c was fine, he said that kind of stuff happens all the time, people just walk by and ask for money. i'm sorry, maybe it's just me, but this kind of thing shouldn't happen all the time...and it was really scary!

but at least being 26 and looking like a teenager came in handy :)

Currently reading : My Favorite Mistake By Beth Kendrick Release date: By 03 August, 2004
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so last night...
Current mood: grossed out!
it was around 11:00 p.m., and i was trying to go to sleep, when i heard the neighbors moving around upstairs...and then i heard some creaking...and some giggling...and some shaking...and some more creaking...

yes, that's right. i HEARD them. doing exactly what you think they were doing.

GROSS.

it actually got worse, believe it or not...i heard the bed (you know what i'm saying), and then i heard HER and then i heard the bed again, and then i heard HIM...

oh. my. goodness.

so i'm thoroughly disgusted, but since this was the only time i've HEARD them, i'm hoping that it won't be something that i hear again...although someone suggested that i buy some earplugs, just in case. good idea! :)

SO GROSS!

Currently listening : How To Save A Life By The Fray Release date: By 13 September, 2005
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Monday, October 23, 2006
little c's super long stolen quizzy! :)
Current mood: happy
PRESENT
01. is your hair wet?:
yes, it's damp from my shower earlier
02. is your cell phone right beside you?:
no, it's in my purse, where i can't hear it ring, lol
03. do you miss someone?:
miss? no. think about? at times
04. are you wearing makeup?:
nope, i don't wear makeup at all, i'm a natural girl (except for the dyed hair)
05. are you wearing chapstick?:
no, but i did put some on after work, my lips were super chapped! :) it's vegan chapstick, by the way
06. are you cold?:
yes! my nose is so cold right now
07. are you tired?:
little bit
08. are you excited?:
nope, but i'm happy :)
09. are you watching tv?:
nope, i'm online in the bedroom, and the t.v. is in the living room
10. are you wearing pajamas?
yes, a shirt and pants and my purple bathrobe :)
PAST
01. recently done anything you regret?:
nope, no regrets...although i'm still kicking myself for seeing "texas chainsaw massacre" with little c (my cousin)
02. ever lied?:
i fibbed recently, which i still feel guilty about; i'm very, very honest (to the point of too honest, sometimes)
03. ever stuck gum under a desk?:
ew, no way
04. ever kick someone?:
lol of course! :)
05. ever trip over your own feet?:
um...not walking, but on rollerblades, yes :)
06. ever cried so hard you almost threw up?:
oh yes, but let's not go THERE right now, okay?
TODAY
01. have you eaten cereal?:
yes! :) strawberry-banana cheerios with soymilk :)
02. have you yelled at someone?:
no way, but i'm about to get very stern with rain because she's hyper and keeps biting my arm (through my bathrobe)
03. have you gotten mad at someone?:
nope, just getting a little iffy with rain right now, but i think she went to cool off, lol
04. have you cried?:
nope!
05. have you called more than 3 people?:
at work, yes; at home, nope
06. have you IM'd more than 3 people?
nope, exactly 3, actually :)
Q 01: is there a person who is on your mind right now?
A 01: just my cousin, because we're talking about going to a scary place on saturday, and i don't know if we can handle it! :)
Q 02: where is the last place you went?
A 02: shoprite, after pier 1, after work :)
Q 03: who is the last person you called?
A 03: an adjuster at work
Q 05: do you have any siblings?
A 05: yep, 2 brothers, eric (31) and jeremy (29)
Q 06: do you smile often?
A 06: all the time! :)
Q 07: do you think that someone is thinking about you right now?
A 07: sure, if nobody else, i may cross my mom's mind at some point :)
Q 08: do you wish on stars?
A 08: nope
Q 09: do you untie your shoes every time you take them off?
A 09: nope
Q 10: when did you last cry?
A 10: a real cry-cry? it's been a little while, a couple of weeks
Q 11: do you like your handwriting?
A 11: yes, when i'm not rushing
Q 12: are you a friendly person?
A 12: yes, i think so
Q 13: whose bed did you sleep in last night?
A 13: my bed, alone :)
Q 14: what color shirt are you wearing?
A 14: it's like a dark pinkish orangeish sort of color, i don't know what it's really called
Q 15: do you have any pets?
A 15: rain (my kitty cat), i've had her for 5 years, she's totally awesome (when she isn't biting me)
Q 16: what color are your bedsheets?
A 16: purple! :)
Q 17: what were you doing at 3am yesterday
A 17: um, totally sleeping, thanks :)
Q 18: i can't wait until...
A 18: halloween is over
Q 19: is tom on your friends list?
A 19: yes
Q 20: look to your right. what's there?
A 20: well, to the right would be on the floor, and that's where my laundry baskets full of dirty clothes are
Q 22: ever cried yourself to sleep?
A 22: definitely
Q 23: ever cried on your friend's shoulder?
A 23: definitely, plenty of times
Q 24: song that makes you cry?
A 24: i have a LOT, but that's because i'm really sick, lol...a few are "take my breath away", "black," and "i love you" (the main songs with my first ex), "best i ever had," "fast car," and "angel"
Q 25: are you normally a happy person?
A 25: these days? totally :)
Q 26: has anyone ever said 'i love you' to you?
A 26: yes, several people
Q 27: is your self-esteem extremely low?
A 27: nah, i've kind of gotten over the whole "i'm so ugly" thing...i think i pass for mildly attractive, and that's a good thing :)
Q 28: what are you listening to right now?
A 28: neighbors upstairs walking around (one was hammering for like half an hour before), and some noise outside which i'm trying to not get freaked out about
TEN FAVORITES
1. Store: old navy
2. Flower: roses
3. Color: purple
4. Sport: hockey! :)
5. Mall: willowbrook
6. Music: anything sad
7. Food: vegan :) like vegan lasagne :)
8. Season: fall
9. Animal: for real? cats. for like funky non-real? monkeys and frogs :) okay, i mean, they're real, but you know what i'm saying
10. State: connecticut
TEN FACTS
1. Hometown: ocean township, nj
3. Age: just turned 26
4. Hair color: naturally light brown, but it's blonde right now
5. Eye color: funky brown
6. Best friend: jeremy (my brother); but i have very few friends, and i'm close with all of them...little c, janie, lia, denise, tracy, heather
7. Mood: happy! :) that's a BIG change, right, little c?? :)
8. Skin color: um...white...very white...my brother says that you can't tell where my socks end and my legs start :)
9. Available?: yes, but only for someone special :)
10. Lefty/righty: righty
TEN THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE
1. Have you ever been in love?:
yes, definitely, he was my first love, and we were totally in love...and then a few years later, things changed
2. Do you believe in love:?
definitely! :)
3. Why did your last relationship fail?
because we fought a lot...and because he was a sick pervert who looked at fetish porn of naked women peeing. yeah. that's pretty sick.
4. Have you ever been heartbroken:
YES (after i broke his heart)
5. Have you ever broken someone's heart?:
YES (and then he broke mine)
6. Have you ever fallen for one of your best friends:
nope, my best friends were always girls...except for when i liked this guy in high school, but nothing happened, and then we became really close friends
7. Have you ever liked someone but never told them:
yes, in high school, then he started dating one of my friends, so there that went, lol
8. Are you afraid of commitment:
not at all
9. Has someone ever kissed your hand:
yes
10. Have you ever had a secret admirer:
yes, in 6th grade, someone put a ring with a "d" on it in my bookbag
TEN THINGS: THIS OR THAT
1. Love or trust:
wow, i think true love involves trust, so i'll say both...but if i have to choose, i'll say love, because trust should go along with it, right?
2. Hard liquor or beer:
liquor
3. Night or day:
night
4. One night stands or relationships:
definitely relationships, i'm no slut (contrary to what my cousin likes to say, lol)
5. Television or internet:
a little of both
6. Pepsi or coke?:
pepsi
7. Romantic night in or wild nightout?:
romantic night in with the right guy; wild night out if it's girls' night out
9. Phone or in person:
these days, phone, but i would prefer in person
10. Msn or myspace:
myspace
TEN HAVE Y0U EVER
1. Have you ever been caught sneaking out?
no, we had no rules in my house, so there was really no "sneaking out
2. Have you ever skinny dipped:
sort of...half on, half off, i can't say which because my cousin will read this, lol
3. Have you ever done something you regret?:
no, no regrets!
4. Have you ever wanted someone so badly it hurt?:
wanted to be with someone? yes.
5. Have you ever danced in the rain?:
yes
6. have you ever had a hang over?:
i've been drunk a few times, but i've never had an actual hangover, i don't think...although i do tend to just stay in bed all day :)

Currently reading : My Favorite Mistake By Beth Kendrick Release date: By 03 August, 2004
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Wednesday, October 18, 2006
little c's odd little quizzy... :) Current mood: good
+ Known as: debbie-lin, debbie, deb, debz, debster, etc.
+ Born: october 11th, 1980
+ Hair color: naturally light brown, dyed blonde
+ Eye color: different shades of brown
SECTION 2 - HAVE YOU EVER...
+ Fallen off the bed?:
lol of course :) i also fell off of my mom's bed when i was 9, dancing and lip syncing in her mirror, and hit my wrist on her metal shoe rack and fractured it (yeah, nice, right? lol)
+ Broken someone else's heart?:
yes, but then he broke mine
+ Had your heart broken?:
yes, after i broke his
+ Had a dream come true?:
hmm...i'm going to say yes, but my big dream hasn't come true yet
SECTION 3 - CURRENTLY...
+ Wearing:
striped pajama bottoms (they're pretty hideous, but my mom gave them to me) and a t-shirt that says "motown cafe, new york" on it (does anyone remember the motown cafe?? is it still around?? i've had this shirt since december 1998, lol)
+ Listening to:
the hum of the computer
+ Located:
on my bed, in my bedroom
+ Chatting with:
janie (online)
+ Should REALLY be:
doing whatever i want, so this is fine...but i really need to clean the bathtub :)
SECTION 4 - DO YOU...
+ Have any piercings: yes, ears and belly
+ Drive: yes
+ Have a cell phone: yes
SECTION 5 - LAST PERSON YOU...
+ Hugged: umm...i think it was my cousin, little c, on saturday
+ IMed: janie
+ Talked with on the phone: somebody who called work before i left
+ Text: i think heather
SECTION 6 - PERSONAL...
+ What do you usually think about before you go to bed? the past
SECTION 7- FAVORITES...
+ Show: "the amazing race"
+ Food : anything vegan, especially vegan lasagne
+ Color: purple
SECTION 8 - DO YOU...
+ Like to give hugs: definitely
+ Like to walk in the rain: yes
+ Prefer black or blue: black
+ Sleep on your side: i usually start on my side, then toss during the night and end up on my back when i wake up
+ Have stuffed animals: yes, in boxes in the closet
SECTION 9- THIS OR THAT...(pick)
+ Pierced nose or tongue: on me or on someone else?? on me, i would say nose, i think it's safer
+ MTV or BET: mtv
+ 7th Heaven or Dawsons Creek: neither, so i'll just choose dawsons creek
+ Color or black-and-white photos: color
+ Stay up late or sleep in: stay up late
+ Hot or cold: cold
+ Sun or moon: moon
+ Left or Right: right
+ 10 Acquaintances or 2 best friends: 2 best friends
+ Spring or Fall: fall
+ Happy or sad: LOL i love sad stuff, but would prefer to be happy :)
+ Wonder or amazement: amazement
SECTION 10: FIRSTS...
First Screen Name?
oh my gosh...i don't remember...something like froggydeb? lol
First self purchased CD:
absolutely no idea...i'm going to say pearl jam for the heck of it
First pet:
first one that i got to name was my cat, hope (but we had lots of cats and a dog when i was growing up)
First piercing/tattoo:
just the one i have now, on my lower back
SECTION 11: LASTS...
Last time you cried:
i don't remember, which is a good thing! :) it must have been at least a week or two ago
Last phone call:

somebody at work
SECTION 12: CURRENT...
Current mood: feeling good, but slightly antsy-i've been sitting here online for too long
Current food: none, but i just had some soy ravioli, yummy! :)
Current hair: wet (after showering) and unbrushed
Current annoyance(s): none
SECTION 13: WHO LAST...
1. Made you smile?
my kitty cat, rain :) other than that, kevin at work (one of my bosses)
2. Saw you cry?
hmm...probably people at work, it's been a little while since i've had a crying session
SECTION 14: WOULD YOU RATHER..
1. Be serious or be funny? a little of both, but i'll say funny, it's happier :)
2. Drink whole or skim milk? soy
3. Spend time with your parents or enemies? this is a stupid question; obviously, parents (although mine would just be my mom, i don't speak with my father)
SECTION 15: DO YOU PREFER...
1. Do you prefer gray or black? i like both, but i'll pick grey
2. Lust or love? totally love, lust only gets you so far
3. Sunrise or sunset? sunset
4. M&M's or skittles? neither, i'm vegan :)
SECTION 16: ANSWER TRUTHFULLY...
1. Do you like anyone? not at the moment
2. Do you believe in love at first sight? yes, definitely, i've experienced it
3. Do you miss someone right now? no, i'm pretty all right today :)

Currently listening : Everything You Want By Vertical Horizon Release date: By 15 June, 1999
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Sunday, October 15, 2006
so scary!!!!
Current mood: frightened!! :)
okay, so last night was my cousin chris' birthday party, which involved a delightful trip to "terror behind the walls"...

let's just say that i really, really don't like these places, but my cousin loves them, so i go along. in 2003, we went to hamilton hauntings...in 2004, we went to hamilton hauntings (in a small group) and also valley of fear...and this year, it was this "terror behind the walls" place. this was the first year where i didn't have a boyfriend to bring, but my (new) friend shane nicely came along for protection-although i think chris' friends protected me more, since i kept running and hiding behind them :)

okay, so here's the thing: i get very, very scared. i don't know if i think the people are going to kill me or what, but even though i know that they are just people dressed up and wearing makeup, they frighten me. while we were waiting in the line, the scary people came up to us, and i screamed. some moss guy who was next to the building came over to us, and i screamed. some girl came over and sang next to me, and i screamed. get the picture? :) lots and lots of screaming :)

so we go inside a little after 10:00 p.m., and it was really scary to me, although my cousin wasn't really scared (for the first time at one of these places; he's usually screaming right along with me), and neither was anyone else. the scariest part was when we had to walk through a building that was completely pitch black, and bumped into a couple of the scary people (i screamed, of course).

it was frightening!!!! :)

so i highly recommend going, although, if you're not easily scared, you may be like everyone else with us last night, and kind of just go with the flow, instead of getting the bejesus scared out of you and screaming the entire night :)

Currently listening : The High Road By JoJo Release date: By 17 October, 2006
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Friday,October 13, 2006
little c's 2006 quizzy! :)
Current mood: chilly!! :) that's not a mood, but that's okay :)
So Far in '06...
1. Have you had more than 5 different relationships or hookups?
nope! :)
2. Have you had your birthday?
yes, it was 2 days ago, on october 11th :)
4. Cried yet?
i'm an emotional sap, but i also went through a breakup this summer, so yes, i cried plenty!
5. Pulled an all nighter?
sort of...i think i stayed up until about 5:00 a.m. one night, i heard the birds waking up and saw the sun starting to rise...that's insomnia for you
6. Drank Starbucks?
i LOVE starbucks! :) just went there tonight with lia, actually...and had my soy latte :)
7. Went shopping?
hmm...like for clothes? possibly more towards the beginning of the year, i don't really remember
8. Been to a camp?
no
9. Been to the beach?
actually, i don't think i have...not even to the boardwalk, which i love (except for jenks with jane)
10. Bought something for over $200?
does my new car count? but i didn't buy it, i'm financing it...i think it counts, though :) it's a 2007 saturn ion, i got it in august :)
11. Met someone new?
yes! :)
12. Been out of state?
yes, with the ex, to pennsylvania a few times and new york to see him play
13. Gone Snowboarding?
nope, that's not for me, lol
[[Have you]]
1. Hugged someone?
definitely! :)
2. Slept in someone else's bed?
technically, it was my bed at the time, but i guess that counts, so yes
3. Snuck someone over?
no, i'm 26 and live alone, there's no need for that :)
4. Snuck out of your own house?
see #3
5. Lied?
no, i don't lie, but i think i did fib a little bit with something that happened at work...actually, i didn't fib, i just stayed quiet instead of speaking up about something
6. Been called a whale?
um no?!?! what kind of question is that??
7. Done something you regret?
i always play "what if"...but in the end, we make certain choices for certain reasons, even if we may regret them at some point...everything happens for a reason
[[Lasts...]]
1. Last thing you bought?
starbucks! :)
2. Last Person who called you?
janie-and she saw nick lachey tonight and is now in love with him! :)
3. When was the last time you felt stupid?
LOL at work today, an adjuster called and left a message on my voicemail, i called her back, she asked for the claim number on the file she had called on, i told her i would check my voicemail, hung up, called into the voicemail, and then realized that i had deleted the message...so i called her back and told her, and felt like a complete idiot (i should be more responsible than that! lol)
4. Who was the last person you danced with?
um...when was the last time i danced?? i think probably when i did my hoe-down for jane :) aside from that, i have no clue! :)
5. Who did you last yell at?
yell? probably the ex
6. What did you do today?
went to work, came home for about an hour, went to meet up with lia for dinner and starbucks, got home around 11:00 p.m., showered, and am now doing this quizzy and talking with my cousin (little c)
FIVE FACTS
1. Hometown:ocean township, nj
2. Natural hair color:light brown
3. Hair style:straight and letting it get long again
4. Height:between 5'3 and 5'4
5. Mood:feeling bad for having to put rain in time out (yes, she's my kitty cat)...kind of getting sleepy...but happy, it's been a great birthday week :)
TEN THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE
1. Have you ever been in love:
yes, once upon a time...
2. Does someone love you?
sure
3. Do you believe in love?
yep :)
4. Have you ever been heartbroken:
oh yes
5. Have you ever broken someone's heart:
yes, then he broke mine, but that's true love for you
6. Have you ever fallen for your best friend?
nope, my best friends have always been girls, and i like boys :)
7. Have you ever loved someone but never told them?
nope, i always tell when i feel it
8. Are you afraid of commitment?
no way, i'm totally a relationship person
9. Have you ever had a secret admirer?
yes! :) in 6th grade, after industrial arts class (where we made wooden napkin holders and such), in the front of my backpack, there was a little gold ring with a "D" on it...never did find out what the story was behind that, but i was still pretty shy back then
SEVEN THINGS:
1. Love or lust:LOVE
2. Foreplay or Sex:making love! :) i get kind of bored if it's a long, drawn out thing
3. Day or Night:night
4. TV or internet:a bit of both
5. Pepsi or Coke:hmm...my favorite is root beer...can i say cherry coke? :)
6. Wild night out or romantic night in:definitely romantic
7. Black or white?grey
TEN EMOTIONS
1. Are you missing someone right now:
i wouldn't say "missing," but thinking about someone? yes
2. Are you happy?
yes, finally!! :)
3. Are you talking to anyone right now:
i'm talking with my cousin online
4. Are you eating:
nope
5. Are you German:
yes!! :) and i was born in germany as well :)
6. Are you Irish:
nope
7. Are you French:
LOL nope
8. Are your parents still married?
no, thank goodness! :) they divorced when i was 10
9. Do you like someone right now:
maybe... ;)

Currently listening : How To Save A Life By The Fray Release date: By 13 September, 2005
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Monday, October 09, 2006
erin's numbers/a-z quizzy! :) Current mood: good
ONE. Spell your name WITHOUT vowels:
dbb-ln
TWO. Are you single?
yes, for about 3 months now
THREE. Your favorite number:
9
FOUR. Your favorite color:
purple
FIVE. Least favorite color?
hm...probably orange or yellow
SIX. Favorite band?
i have a few...i'll go with staind for this question
SE7EN. what's your bedtime?
depending on what's going on, usually 10:30 p.m. on weekdays and about 12:00 a.m. on weekends
EIGHT. Are you happy with your life right now?
overall? yes...but i will say that my birthday is in 2 days, i'm turning 26, and it will be the first birthday since i was 17 that i will be alone...not too happy about that...but when i was feeling kind of down today (today used to be a special day to me, by the way), on the way home, i saw a sign outside of a church that said "smile. God loves you," and i immediately felt better
NINE. Anyone ever said you resemble a celebrity?
lol! yes, my most recent ex-boyfriend told me after our first date that i looked a little like britney spears (i had long blonde hair, i was wearing a little tank top, and i had some glitter on my face)
TEN. What was or is your favorite class in school?
psychology, especially abnormal psychology, that was really interesting
ELEVEN. Do you shop at hollister/abercrombie/ae
no
TWELVE. How do you make money?
well...i work full-time as an administrative assistant in a law office, doing workers compensation; and i now work part-time at bath & body works-gotta pay the bills, you know :)
THIRTEEN. Who is your best friend?
my brother jeremy, even though he really hasn't been there for me the past few weeks...since he's planning his wedding in venezuela and all
FOURTEEN. When do you start back school/college?
in january, at rutgers! :)
FIFTEEN. Are you outgoing?
very
SIXTEEN. One word to describe you:
cute (not in an "i'm so cute" kind of way, just my personality and everything all together, that's the word i get a lot)
SEVENTEEN. Favorite pair of shoes?
i'm not a big shoe person, so i'll just say my running sneakers, since they're pink and silver
EIGHTEEEN. Do you own big sunglasses?
not big-big, but they are a bit big for my face. i've had them since i was 17-marshall's, baby! lol :) one day, i'll get a new pair
NINETEEN. What would you rather be doing right now?
nothing, although i would love to see a really good movie one of these days, it's been a while since i've been to the movies
TWENTY. What should you be doing right now?
nothing, my time is my time :)
TWENTY-ONE. Do you have a crush on anyone right now?
i'm kind of frustrated with the whole dating thing at this moment
A is for age:
25, 26 in 2 days
B is for beer of choice:
none
C is for career right now:
administrative assistant
D is for your dog's name:
we used to have a dog named princess, we had to put her to sleep when i was about 13 because she was really sick, but she was awesome
E is for essential item you use everyday:
LOL my purell, of course :)
F is for favorite TV show at the moment:
"the amazing race," always
G is for favorite game:
i love games! :) my favorites are "scene it" and "outburst"
H is for home town:
ocean township
I is for instruments you play:
none
J is for favorite juice:
orange
K is for whose butt you'd like to kick:
nobody's
L is for last restaurant you ate at:
does panera count as a restaurant? because one of the attorneys i work with took me there for lunch today :) if not, then i don't remember, it's been a while...possibly goodfella's with my brother over the summer?
M is for marriage:
this doesn't apply to me yet...hopefully one day, when i meet the right guy...
N is for your full name:
debbie-lin, that's all you're getting from me :)
O is for overnight hospital stays:
i think 0
P is for people you were with today:
people at work-michael, kevin, tracy, natalie, dona, angela
Q is for quote:
i have 2: "love is pain, pain is love" and "life should be measured not by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away" (yes, i am a total, complete sap)
R is for biggest regret:
i used to have a big one...and i always play "what if, what if, what if," but i know now that everything happens for a reason, if you don't know the reason at the time
S is for sex:
as in male or female? i'm a girl. as in the other kind? see "two"
T is for time you woke up today:
6:30 a.m., although i kept hitting snooze until 7:00 a.m.
U is for unforgettable:
him
V is for vegetable you love:
broccoli
W is for worst habit:
picking my fingernails off. i also do this really disgusting thing where i brush my hair on the way to wherever i'm going, and take the loose hairs and put them in my cup holder. yeah, it's gross. i call it my "hair pile." don't worry, i throw it away, usually at work, after i show tracy and she gets grossed out :)
X is for x-rays :
aside from teeth, just one or two on my left wrist
Y is for yummy food you ate today:
helloooo panera!! :) want to know my complicated order? :) mediterranean veggie on ciabatta bread (instead of tomato basil), no hummus, no cheese :) technically, i could probably eat the hummus, but i prefer it without :)
Z is for zodiac sign:
libra...the scales...balance...no wonder i'm such an obsessive freak! :)

Currently listening : I Write Sins Not Tragedies By Panic! At the Disco Release date: By 26 October, 2006
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Wednesday, October 04, 2006
shane's quizzy quiz! :)
Current mood: happy
1. Using FOOD names, spell out your name.
do i have to do my full name? or just my nickname? okay, i'll do full :)d-dipsy doodlese-eggplantb-bagelsb-broccolii-(soy) ice creame-eggplant-topped pizza (okay, i cheated)--well, there's no food for this! :)l-lettucei- (vegan) icing (yeah, good one, shane)n-nectarine (thanks, lia!)
2. What is one song that makes you cry and why?
SO MANY (just ask my cousin!)...serious ones are "goodbye my lover," "take my breath away," and "fast car"
3. Appearance:
Height: 5'3
Hair: naturally brown, artificially blonde :)
Eye color: brown-but like a pretty brown, you have to look up close, though :)
Piercings: 1 (not counting ears)
Tattoos: 1
4. Right Now:
Pants:
haha! sky blue yoga pants (for exercising)
Who's on your mind:
not telling!! ;)
What song are you listening to:
nothing at the moment, but i am a big fan of that pussycat dolls song about not needing a man, i was listening to it on the way home today
What taste is in your mouth:
i think the peanut butter crackers i ate earlier
5. Do You:
Get motion sickness:
not really, just when i'm on a boat for too long
Get along with your parents: my mother? definitely, she's a kook and i'm nuts, so we're fantastic! lol! my father? no, i don't speak to him
6. Favorites:
TV show: "the amazing race"
Band/artist: lots...staind, evanescence, sarah mclachlan, james blunt
Movie: i have so many! :) a few are "love actually," "pretty in pink," and "serendipity"
Addiction: listening to sad songs
7. Have You:
Broken the law?:
sort of...when i was 7, my best friend and i went into our elementary school and tried to steal some chalk. i got us into trouble by wandering out into the hallway, where the computer room was (and all of the video cameras), and a police officer showed up. other than that, just a bunch of speeding tickets :)
Ran away from home?:
nope
Made a prank phone call?:
when i was younger, sure, with friends
Your greatest regret:
i had one, but i've let it go, there's no sense having regrets...we all make our choices for certain reasons, even if we don't see it at the time
Random:
8. Last movie you saw at the theater?:
"cars"
9. What was the last thing you ate?:
soy pudding
10. Do you wish on stars?:
no, but i like looking at them
11. Last person you talked on the phone with?:
someone who called the office, looking for one of the other secretaries
12. Last person[s] you saw?:
kevin (one of the attorneys i work with)
13. Last person you hugged?:
i think my cousin
14. Favorite drink?:
water
15. Favorite sport to watch?:
hockey!!!! :)
16. Have you ever dyed your hair?:
all the time :)
17. Do you wear contacts or glasses?:
contacts (glasses at night)
18. Have you ever made candles before?:
yes! in like 4th grade, they smelled really good :)
19. Favorite month?:
i like october and may
20. Favorite food?:
vegan
21. Favorite day of the year?:
not sure now-it usually would be my anniversary with whoever i was dating...i guess right now i'll say my birthday :)
22. What do you do to control anger?:
i don't really have anger problems, now that i'm away from my ex...i don't know, i'm too happy right now to answer this question! :)
23. What was your favorite toy/stuffed animal as a child?:
she-ra and my little pony
24. When was the last time you washed your car?:
i have never washed it
25. Cherry or blueberry?:
cherry, but blueberries on cereal :)
26. What is on the floor of your closet?:
which one? i don't have a closet in my bedroom, but the other closets have storage bins, and one closet has rain's litterbox
27. What song is on your profile?:
"lips of an angel" by hinder (it's sad and very good!)
28. What did you do last night?:
played with rain, ate dinner, exercised, showered, watched t.v., went online, talked on the phone, went to sleep :)
29. What are you afraid of?:
flying (even though i'm going to venezuela in december for my brother's wedding)
30. Favorite car?:
right now, it's the new eclipse, i think they're totally cute :)
31. Number of keys on your key ring?:
um...i think like 4? car key, key to work, key to my mom's, i think an extra key to my mom's...i think that's it (my apartment keys are separate, i have 6 on there, they are for the outside door, inside door, and laundry room door, in duplicate)
32. Current annoyance?:
the mold in my apartment (but i bought a dehumidifier, so i'm hoping that helps get rid of it!)
33. Favorite day of the week?:
friday
34. How many states have you lived in?:
just jersey
35. How many cities have you lived in?:
ocean township, eatontown, freehold, hightstown, and now bordentown
36. How many houses have you lived in?:
see above (but actually just one house; the rest were apartments and a condo)
37. What is going down this Saturday?:
going to a dog walk with my mom-without a dog :)

Currently listening : PCD By The Pussycat Dolls Release date: By 13 September, 2005
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Tuesday, October 03, 2006
melissa a's 50 questions quizzy! :)
Current mood: good
1. How tall are you barefoot?
5'3
2. Have you ever smoked heroin?
nope, i don't do drugs (except when i tried pot when i was 23, but i didn't really inhale-it was gross!)
3. Do you own a gun?
no way
4. Who's your best friend?
my brother, jeremy
5. Do you get nervous before "meeting the parents"?
not at all, it can be fun :)
6. What do you think of hot dogs?
they're made of all sorts of things that you shouldn't really be ingesting...but i'm vegan, so it goes without saying that i'm not a fan of them
7. What's your favorite Christmas song?
"all i want for christmas is you" by mariah carey
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
water
9. Can you do push ups?
oh yes :)
10. Who is your favorite person in the world?
right this moment? i'll still have to say my brother, although my friend lia is quite awesome as well :)
11. What's your favorite piece of jewelry?
most of my jewelry is from my ex-boyfriends, including my watches (i love wearing a watch, i'm a dork! lol), so i don't wear any of that anymore...but i did really like this ring my mom gave me (gold, heart-shaped, with little diamonds), until i lost it :(
12. Do you like painkillers?
when i had this really weird thing going on back when i was like 20 or 21, when there was some icky puss oozing out right above my top teeth (sorry for the visual!), i had to take half a percocet, and it knocked me out for hours. nuff said :)
13. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?
i don't think i really lure the opposite sex, but i do tend to smile a lot... :)
14. Do you own a knife?
yes, but it's pretty dull now, i could use a nice set of kitchen knives
15. Do you have A.D.D.?
no, but my nephew has adhd
16. Middle Name?
haha! esther :) don't make fun of it, it's my grandmother's name
17. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment?
my hair is really wet; i need to brush my teeth; i hope my cousin has a great birthday party (i'm going, and it will be scary and i will scream! lol)
18. Name the last 3 things you have bought:
recently? um...vegan cake yesterday (along with soy ravioli), a dehumidifier for my moldy apartment, and a new book to read
19. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink:
water; occasionally iced tea; and occasionally root beer
20. What time did you wake up today?
6:40 a.m.
22. Current worry?
not too worried right now, but starting my part-time job this thursday night, since it's the first time i'm doing retail...
23. Current hate?
i'm a lover, not a hater :)
24. Favorite place to be?
it's a secret, but it involves dirt, trees and water :)
26. Where would you like to go?
i'd like to go to my favorite place, i haven't been there in a few months, and i was actually thinking about it this morning
27. Do you own slippers?
sort of-i have these froggy slippers that heather's mom gave me for christmas in 2004, which i wore constantly and never washed, then finally brought them to my mom's about 4 or 5 months ago to wash them, and they're still there
28. What shirt are you wearing?
right now it's my pajama shirt-it's long sleeved and has an 83 in the middle, and around the 83 it says "the average number of lives saved by a vegetarian in one year"
29. Do you burn or tan?
ick, burn, always, always burn
30. Favorite color(s)?
purple! :)
31. Would you be a pirate?
i don't think so, i'm not such a fan of the whole stealing/killing thing...plus being on the water that much would be kind of nauseating :)
32. Last time you had an alcoholic drink?
hmm...good question...probably back in june with janie...is that possible?? oh, i did have one back in july also, i didn't like it, though
33. What songs do you sing in the shower?
i tend to think in the shower more than sing
34. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child?
freddy krueger (my brother eric loved those "nightmare on elm street" movies)
35. What's in your pockets right now?
i have sweatpants on with no pockets
36. Last thing that made you laugh?
shane's bulletin, which i read after work today
37. Best bed sheets you had as a child?
strawberry shortcake, sucka!! :)
38. Worst injury you've ever had?
emotional or physical? i fractured my left wrist when i was 9, then i cut it on my broken window (thanks to my brother eric) when i was 12, and had to get a bunch of stitches-it was pretty gross and painful
40. How many TVs do you have in your house?
1
41. Who is your loudest friend?
my cousin chris (who is also my friend) is pretty loud, especially when we get together and start causing some chaos :)
42. Who is your most silent friend?
jane is pretty quiet
43. Does someone have a crush on you?
if so, i don't know about it
44. Do you wish on shooting stars?
no
45. What is your favorite book?
i have a few..."the notebook," "angels," "do you come here often?" are a few
46. What is your favorite candy?
that's tough, i love sweets, especially lollipops :) i'm pretty open, except i stay away from certain candies with animal products in them
47. What song do/did you want played at your wedding?
depends on the guy, depends on what "our" song is, but that's the one that i would definitely want played :)
48. What song do you want played at your funeral?
golly...let's not think about that right now
49. What were you doing 12 AM last night?
i was on the phone with shane
50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up this morning?
it's chilly! :)

Currently listening : Eyes Open By Snow Patrol Release date: By 09 May, 2006
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Sunday, October 01, 2006
just sharing :)
Current mood: worried
this isn't going to be super exciting, but i just wanted to share that i got a part-time job at bath & body works, which is officially my first retail job as well as my first part-time/second job. kind of funny that at almost 26, i have to get a second job, but whatever, i'm sucking it up and doing it! :)

so i went for training on friday night from 6-8:45 p.m., and i had to sit on a metal chair and watch videos with 2 other girls, and by the end, my butt was cold and i really couldn't feel anything, lol. but then we were shown around the store, which was really cold, by the way, but at least i was up and moving :)

this is the first time that i'm actually a little worried about my job...like i've worked in law offices since i was 16 1/2 and have been totally fine, but this whole retail thing frightens me! the videos showed how you have to kind of be pushy by trying to get people to buy more products, which isn't me, and they also showed how to give hand demonstrations on people, which sooo isn't me. for those of you who don't know, i have some ocd going on, and i have no desire to touch strangers!! but again, i'm sucking it up and doing it.

i officially start this week, so i'll let you guys know (for anyone who cares, lol) how it goes...scary! :)

Currently listening : The Open Door By Evanescence Release date: By 03 October, 2006
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Saturday, September 30, 2006
got it!! :)
Current mood: relieved
gooley!! karen gooley!! :)

now i can go to sleep with a clear head :)

still don't remember that other guy, though...

Currently listening : Eyes Open By Snow Patrol Release date: By 09 May, 2006
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so confused! :)
Current mood: confused
is it just me, or is turning 26 like the pivotal point where you start to forget people's names????
i'm looking through the ocean township people, you know, the ones who graduated in 1998, at the same time as me...and i literally saw someone's profile-jdicondina or something?-and i have absolutely no clue who that person is. clearly, he was not in my lovely little group of friends (haha), but still...then i saw karen's picture, and i looked at her profile, which is quite nice, i remember she always had short hair and now it's long and she looks really pretty...but i cannot remember her last name for anything...

so is it just me, or are you guys experiencing this as well??

i'm so turning into my mother, who can't remember the names of people she just met, but she'll rattle off the first AND last names of people she worked with at arthur's in 1986. nice.

:)

Currently listening : Eyes Open By Snow Patrol Release date: By 09 May, 2006
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Saturday, September 16, 2006
what's up with people today?
Current mood: weirded out
i have a couple of things to say about the drivers i encountered today...so here goes:

i'm driving through freehold, through the center of town, and an ambulance is coming up behind me, several cars back. so what are you supposed to do when an ambulance comes driving by, lights flashing, sirens wailing? pull over to the side of the road, right? apparently not, according to some selfish people. so the car 2 cars in front of me pulls over, but the car in between us just drives around him/her, and keeps going. nice. then i pull over, and the car behind me sort of pulls over, but after the ambulance goes by, they pull out and go right next to me and then pass me as i'm pulling out. nice again. then the poor person in the first car is kind of waiting, so i let him go. what is with these people?

then i come up to a light a few minutes later, and there are 2 lanes of traffic, i don't think there was anyone next to me, i'm in the left lane, speeding along nicely, when a car on the other side turns left right in front of me. i literally said "Jesus Christ!" and then felt horrible and apologized to God for saying it.

but again, i'm asking you, what is with people? i don't get it. where does everyone think they're rushing off to? the mall? give me a break.

Currently listening : All the Right Reasons By Nickelback Release date: By 05 October, 2005
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Wednesday, September 13, 2006
guess who's going to venezuela?!?!?! :)
Current mood: excited
so it's almost official: i'm going to venezuela!!!! :)

my mom still doesn't know that my brother's friend is flying her to venezuela for the wedding, so i can't really talk with her about it, but jeremy (my brother) said that he will help pay for my flight (he's probably going to pay for almost the whole thing), and i just have to get my passport (and some valium or other drug)!!!! :)

so i'm super excited, and jeremy is excited, and my mom will be really happy once she finds out about the surprise. this is a HUGE deal because i do not fly. period. i've only been to places by car and train, because i don't like heights and i don't like not being in control for such a long period of time (it's sort of why i also don't like roller coasters, but i've gotten the guts to go on a few of those recently). so this is going to be a really big first flight, being that i'm going to a gorgeous country (4-5 hours away) and that i'm going for my brother's wedding.
isn't this awesome?!?! :)

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Sunday, September 10, 2006
"love actually"
Current mood: sappy
"love actually" is my absolute favorite, favorite, favorite movie. period. i just watched it, i'm a total sap, a hopeless romantic, i'm literally just crying and crying and crying, and this seriously happens every single time i watch it.

sigh.

i love love. period.

:)

Currently watching : Love Actually Release date: By 05 October, 2004
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Saturday, September 09, 2006
it's saturday... :)
Current mood: cheerful
it's 4:00 p.m. on a saturday afternoon, and my exciting day has consisted of cleaning, cleaning, and talking with my brother :) i know, i know! you're so jealous ;)

if i had a choice (i.e., if i had any amount of money to do anything with), i'd probably be out at the philadelphia museum of art today. it's one of my favorite places, and with this whole "the rocky statue is back" thing going on, i defintely want to go back soon to check it out :)
don't get me wrong, though, i like cleaning, and i especially like talking with my brother :) for those of you who don't know, i have 2 brothers, eric and jeremy, and jeremy is one of my best friends and he lives in venezuela. i haven't talked on the phone with him since he went back there in august, almost a month ago (although we do e-mail all the time), so this was really a happy occasion :)

the kind of stinky news for him, but good news for me, is that his wedding, which he had originally planned for december 16th, is going to be pushed back a few months. this is good news for me because, although i don't fly, it would be awesome if i could try to get the courage up to fly there for his wedding. i told him that if he pushes it back to may, then there's a chance i can go :) why may? because, unlike every other job in america, working for the hartford means that i don't get a bonus in december (you know, in time to buy presents, which is what i've always done); oh, no, i get my bonus in april. yep. as a little sidenote, i also get a raise in january, but it doesn't kick in until april. does this make sense? no, i didn't think so, but that's the way it is :)
so anyway, he's thinking february, which really doesn't help me at all, but get this! his friend, this guy who has helped him work over there and helps with his finances and such, offered, as a wedding present, to fly our mom over there for the wedding! :) so jeremy said that since he's doing that, maybe my mom and jeremy can try to help me get money together for a ticket so that i can go as well :) so now i just have to start working on getting money together for a passport :)

which leads me to my next activity for today, which is looking for a part-time job. i know, i know, you're jealous again! :) i start school at night again in january, so i'm just looking for something to last me through then. cross your fingers! :) if i can get a part-time job, not only will i be able to get a passport, but i'll actually be able to afford going out with my friends on the weekend! :) so it will be fun times for all :)

have an awesome day! :)

Currently listening : All the Right Reasons By Nickelback Release date: By 05 October, 2005
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so i was all worried about those critters...
Current mood: confused
the critters were incredibly noisy last night, they actually sounded like they were not only thrashing against the wall, but crawling over my bedroom ceiling as well, and i got a little scared, so i decided to call the management office today.

guess what happened? nothing. the woman who runs the office, who is older, very nice, and has been here for a while, was not concerned at all about the critters behind my wall. she said that they're probably squirrels, which is what i had originally thought, but i still thought that they should be taken out of there. nope, she said that they were probably making a lot of noise because they were trying to find their way out, and again, didn't seem to care.

i asked if someone could come and look outside to find out if they see anything, and i also said that i don't want anyone in my apartment when i'm not here. she told me that they may have to come inside to find out where the noises are coming from; i explained that the animals only come out at night, and said that i could call when i hear the noises, but she said "oh, no, that's not an emergency." i also said that i thought it might be a raccoon, to which she replied "oh, no, i don't think it's a raccoon" (like i'm nuts). i told her that i'm afraid that whatever it is might eat through the wall, and she basically thought i was completely bonkers.

so that's that! the critters are making noise again tonight, and if they burst through the wall, i'm going to scream like a madwoman, grab rain (my cat), and go out in my car...and call management, because i'm hoping that they would consider that an emergency :)

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Monday, September 04, 2006
taking a break from cleaning...to do erin's super long quizzy :)
Current mood: happy
1. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
i don't have any closets in my bedroom. yeah. it's pretty small in here :) but all of the other closet doors are open; i just like them that way
2. Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel?
i haven't been to a hotel in a while, but no, i don't
3. Have you ever 'done it' in a hotel room?
a long, long time ago, lol
4. Have you ever stolen a street sign before?
no, but my brother eric stole enough for the whole neighborhood (along with mailboxes-i don't get it, either)
5. Do you like to use post-it notes?
yes!! i love them!! :) i even asked my ex to buy heart-shaped ones for me for valentine's day, and he did :) i carry them around with me :)
6. Do you cut out coupons but then never use them?
no, i don't ever cut them out
7. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees?
yikes...i'll go with bees, that sounds a little less awful
8. Do you always smile for pictures?
yes, unless i'm making a funny or "tough" face :) i love pictures!! :)
9. What is your biggest pet peeve?
i think i have a couple, but i'll go with people who don't seem to know what yield signs are for (and drive right through them, then look surprised to see me right there behind them)
10. Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?
out
11. Do you ever count your steps when you walk?
yes, all the time-my brother, jeremy, loves to watch me walk when he's home, because i have to have a certain number of footsteps on certain kinds of pavement, and always an even number. it's sick, i know (erin-i actually AM that obsessive! lol)
12. Have you ever peed in the woods?
ew, not since i was really little
13. Do you ever dance even if there's no music playing?
sure! i do this new dance when i find out that someone is getting divorced, like travis barker-i'll be like "what up, guess who's siiinglllle" and put my hands in the air :) yes, yes, i'm a dork, but it's fun to do! :)
14. Do you chew your pens and pencils?
i have ocd, what do you think? no way! lol
15. How many people have you slept with this week?
none
16. Do you like popcorn from those big tins?
nope, i'm vegan
17. What is your "song of the week"?
i have 2: "the kill (bury me)" and "far away"
18. Is it okay for guys to wear pink?
light pink, yes
19. Do you still watch cartoons?
no, just movies once in a while
20. What's your favorite scary movie?
the first "saw" was pretty wicked...i'm not really a big scary movie fan (ask my cousin chris-i always close my eyes, lol)
21. Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?
hmm...probably at my grandparents' house in north jersey
22. What do you drink with dinner?
water
23. What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
nothing, i'm vegan :) but if i get vegan chicken nuggets, i dip them in a combo of ketchup and mustard :)
24. What movie could you watch over and over and still love?
a lot, actually...especially "when harry met sally," i just watched that again this weekend
25. Last person you kissed/kissed you?
when i saw my mom last friday, she air-kissed me; before that, my brother kissed me on the cheek. it's been a couple of months since i've had a kiss-kiss.
26. Were you ever a boy/girl scout?
no, i was too shy for any group activities when i was little
27. Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?
nobody wants to see me naked, trust me! :)
28. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone?
a couple of months ago, to my aunt and grandmother
29. Can you change the oil on a car?
no way
30. Ever gotten a speeding ticket?
yes, a few...i'm still waiting for my points to go away
31. Ran out of gas?
LOL yes, 3 times, the last time was in july 2006, and a VERY cute police officer helped me, which kind of made it worth it :)
32. Favorite kind of sandwich?
i like this sandwich from panera, it's called a mediterranean veggie sandwich, but i get it on different type of bread and with no cheese and no hummus. it's basically veggies on bread. it's delicious! :)
33. Best thing to eat for breakfast?
plain bagel with vegan cream cheese and grape jelly :)
34. What is your usual bedtime?
around 10:30 p.m. or a little later
35. Are you lazy?
i have lazy days, but for the most part, no
36. When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for halloween?
a few different things, including a cheerleader and a farmer, but my favorite was strawberry shortcake :)
37. How many languages can you speak?
1, although i do know a bit of spanish
38. Do you have any magazine subscriptions?
nope
39.Which are better legos or lincoln logs?
legos
40. Are you stubborn?
yes
41. Who is better...Leno or Letterman?
i don't watch either, but i used to like leno, although his voice can grate on you after a while
42. Ever watch soap operas?
i used to, i started watching when i was 10, stopped for a bit, started again in high school, then stopped for good
43. Afraid of heights?
sort of-i'm more afraid of flying, mostly because of the height, but also because of the lack of control
44. Sing in the car?
depends on where i'm driving (if i'm on local roads, no)
45. Dance in the shower?
who on earth has room for that?? lol
46. Dance in the car?
upper body? yeah, but just to be silly :)
47. Ever used a gun?
gosh no
48. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?
december 2003, a family portrait, my idea
49. Do you think musicals are cheesy?
nope
50. Is Christmas stressful?
not anymore
51. Ever eat a pierogie?
yes, i've eaten many, but the last one i had was vegan :)
52. Favorite fruit pie
vegan apple pie
53. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
a nanny
54. Do you believe in ghosts?
i used to
55. Do you get the Deja-vu feeling?
sure
56. Take a vitamin daily?
i take a vegan multi-vitamin and a vegan calcium/magnesium vitamin
57. Wear slippers?
LOL not anymore! :) i have froggy slippers that i love, but i left them at my mom's a few months ago, intending to wash them (since they stunk), and still haven't; for now, i wear socks :)
58. What do you wear to bed?
a t-shirt and boxer shorts, or a t-shirt and pajama pants
59. First concert?
cindy lauper and tina turner at the arts center
60. Wal-Mart, Target or K-Mart?
target; wal-mart treats their employees like crap; and i don't think there's a k-mart anywhere near where i live now
61. Nike or Adidas?
nike
62. Cheetos or Fritos?
these things called tings are good-they're like the vegan version of cheetos
63. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?
i actually really like almonds, but peanuts are good, too
64. Ever hear of "gorp"?
i have no clue, i don't think so
65. Ever take dance lessons?
no, but i want to
66. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?
nope
67. Can you curl your tongue?
sure
68. Ever won a spelling bee?
i didn't win, but in 4th grade, liran amrani and i were in the spelling bee! :) i lost on the word "autumn" because i forgot the "n" :)
69. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?
yes, when my friend heather made me a picture frame for christmas 1997 based on one that i had told her about that i saw in cape may and couldn't afford
70. Own any record albums?
no
71. Regularly burn incense?
never have
72. Ever been in love?
yes, once
73. Who would you like to see in concert?
evanescence-october 10th; i also would LOVE to see james blunt
74. Hot tea or cold tea?
iced tea
75. Tea or coffee?
soy latte
76. Favorite kind of cookie?
vegan chocolate chip :)
77.Can you swim well?
yes
78. Can you hold your breath w/o manually holding your nose?
this is a dumb question; yes
79. Are you patient?
yes
80. DJ or band, at a wedding?
depends
81. Ever have plastic surgery?
no way
82. Which are better green or black olives?
i'm not a big olive fan, but i can tolerate either of them if they're cut up
83. Can you knit or crochet?
nope
84. Best room for a fireplace?
living room
85. Do you want to get married?
yes, very much so-but have to find "the one" first :)
86. If married, how long have you been married?
not married
87. Who is your HS crush?
who was my crush? i had a few...mike coburn, danny orefice, michael robb, derek herr...but mike was pretty consistent, i liked him all through high school, he was such a dirty player, but we became friends after all the nonsense was done :)
88. Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way?
i think i used to try to with my ex, but it didn't get me anywhere; if both people are too stubborn, it just doesn't work
89. Do you have kids?
no
90. Do you want kids?
yes, very much so-but i want to be married first (and i'm still looking for "the one")
91. What's your favorite color?
purple
92. Do you miss anyone right now?
just my brother, who's back home in venezuela
93. Who do you wanna see right now?
my brother-i wish he would move back to america, but it doesn't look like that's happening anytime soon

Currently listening : Dirty Little Secret By The All-American Rejects Release date: By 22 December, 2005
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critters update! :)
Current mood: dorky
i know you've all been wondering what happened with the critters... :)

okay, so they were silent for quite a while after i wrote that first blog entry about them, but then they started making noise again last week. someone told me that i should tell the landlord because they may eat through the walls, and if they have diseases, that's not only bad for me, but bad for my kitty cat, rain (especially if they should eat through the wall while i'm at work).
i didn't call the landlord, because i'm afraid that they will try to kill the critters, and i can't be a part of that, so i haven't done anything, but, although i did hear them scrambling around this past thursday night (before the storm), i haven't heard them since, so i'm hoping that maybe they decided to leave...i certainly hope they did :)

Currently listening : Dirty Little Secret By The All-American Rejects Release date: By 22 December, 2005
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Saturday, August 26, 2006
about that....
Current mood: thankful
if you've read my prior blog entries, you might be asking yourself why on earth i would post those nasty things from my ex-boyfriend, so i'm going to tell you why :)

i broke up with him at the end of april, but we decided to "work on things." i thought it would be a good idea if i moved out of his apartment, to give us some space (i moved in with him within the first month we were dating, which was, at that point, a year and 7 months), and we still talked and spent time together, and tried "working on things."

here's the thing: if you really need to "work on things" that badly, you shouldn't be in that relationship anymore. i know that now.

if any of you saw my prior profile on here, you may have also seen the blog i posted in the middle of june when i found out that he was not only talking to other girls behind my back (on myspace and who knows what else), but looking at online fetish porn-again. i had discovered the porn last summer, when we "broke up" (for the hundredth time) and i partially moved out, then moved back in, and found pictures on his computer of naked girls peeing. pretty sick, right? right. what's even more sick? that i stayed with him.

we had a lot of problems in our relationship, pretty much from day one-miscommunication, me grieving over my serious ex-boyfriend, him taking his anger from all of his past rejection and pain out on me, etc. there was so much fighting, and i kept telling him that i wasn't used to that-i don't like to fight, trust me, but i also don't back down, i'm too strong and stubborn to :) other problems included him not wanting to talk about anything that happened in his past-"we need to focus on us"-in case you don't already know this, talking about things that happened in your past is a good thing, especially if, like him, you have a lot of unresolved issues. your past is a part of you and has helped shape who you are today, good or bad, better or worse. he also disrespected me in public, didn't want me having fun and talking with his friends, and flirted with and made gross comments to other girls.

so why was i with him? good question! :) we also had some amazingly good times, we had a lot in common, we were both really dorky and uncool :) and were super comfortable with each other. we also really liked each other's families and loved doing corny things, like going to museums and aquariums and things like that.

however.

what i've learned since we officially broke up-after we spent his birthday together and then, a few days later, he said he needed "time to himself" (via e-mail, no less, he's such a coward), so i asked him if he was talking to other girls, and he finally admitted that he was, which was a shock, even though it was only a week earlier that i found out he was talking to other girls on myspace (yes, i am dumb sometimes)-is that i really thought i could change him. i thought that, because i knew there were all of these good qualities in him, he could be this awesome boyfriend for me. i thought that i could help him resolve his anger, so he wouldn't yell at me, and we wouldn't fight so much, and he could get help for the fetish (which he admitted, last summer when i found it, that it is actually a sexual addiction, because he has a serious problem with it), and he wouldn't disrespect me and we could have a great, happy life together.

here's what i've learned: you can't save anyone else, you can only save yourself.

i haven't seen him in 2 months (although he contacted me once a week throughout the beginning of august), and i'm so much better off. was i upset in the beginning? of course, for about 3 weeks, i was very upset. my friends and my brother (home from venezuela) gave me so much support, which was awesome. my brother is like my best friend, and he tells it like it is-my ex was definitely not right for me, i should have broken up with him a year ago, he isn't going to change, etc. he said that maybe my ex was in my life to help me move on from my serious ex-boyfriend, and that's a very valid point, because it took me a l-o-n-g time (2+ years) to finally move on from that situation (we aren't going to discuss that one, though), and now i have, and i'm thankful for that. he also pointed out that i didn't have the same kind of connection with this ex that i did with the serious one-which is also so true. isn't it great how other people can help show you things that you were completely oblivious to?? :)

so why did i post those couple of things from him (there were more, by the way, but i limited it to two)? as a reminder of what a nasty person he is, how i'm much better off without him, and how much happier i am now. i look back and i don't like the person i was with him-was that his fault? no, that was mine. but now that i feel like the "old debbie" again, i know that it really wasn't a healthy relationship, when i was so unhappy a lot of the time and didn't like the way i thought and felt, not only about me, but about other people and things. i had a very down outlook on the world. and now that i'm happy, i'm so much more positive again (which feels awesome).

i'm not perfect, trust me, but at least i know that i deserve to be treated better. i've learned so much these past few years, i've grown a lot, and i feel like i'm in a great place now :)

p.s.-i bought an awesome book the other day, called it's called a breakup because it's broken, and i highly recommend it to anyone going through a breakup, or even to someone who just wants to feel better about things. it's funny and so right on (especially for me now, when my eyes have been opened to all of the bad stuff with my ex), and totally empowering. i loved it :)

Currently listening : A Beautiful Lie By 30 Seconds to Mars Release date: By 30 August, 2005
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Wednesday, August 23, 2006
from my ex-boyfriend (7-27-06)...
Current mood: relieved
did you get my email?how long are you going to ignore me for?is it because you find it funny?like i'm some kind of joke now?fine then. you're a psychotic worthless piece of shit loser and i have no reason to respect you at all. so fuck you and all your fucking selfish acts. you will get what you have coming to you. you've taken everything you could from me and have done nothing in return. you use people and you will always be a evil bitch who constantly needs to seek revenge because you have no substance to you. maybe some day you'll actually wake up and stop living inside a plastic bubble. and maybe someday you'll respect people and stop bitching about how you don't like how they do things. and maybe some day you'll stop being a controlling manipulator. go help a homeless person or something. live in the real world.

Currently listening : Chasing Cars By Snow Patrol Release date: By 27 July, 2006
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from my ex-boyfriend (7-19-06)...
Current mood: relieved
stop doing this you have no reason to treat me like this i know you're there
or should i be nasty instead? maybe that will get your attention well just to let you know we really need to talk about something and it's really important to me. and if you have any ounce of respect for me left, then i hope you'd be willing to listen but given your behavior, i'm thinking that maybe soon you'll turn around i never did anything to maliciously destroy you, just remember that

Currently listening : Chasing Cars By Snow Patrol Release date: By 27 July, 2006
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Sunday, August 13, 2006
critters
Current mood: scared
okay, so on my old myspace, i had probably hundreds of blog entries, and i wasn't going to do any blog entries on here, but i figured this would add some humor to someone's day, if anyone chooses to read this :)

i have critters behind my walls. no joke. i moved into my apartment around june 1st, and after a few weeks, one night after a storm, i heard something behind my walls. it sounded like creatures running back and forth. okay, that freaked me out, but i thought, well, maybe they're just finding shelter to get away from the rain, you know?

so i heard them moving a few more times, once during the day on a weekend, and i started wondering if i should contact someone about it, but i really love animals, and i don't want anyone to come and kill them, so i've kept quiet. but now...they've moved.

on friday night, around 4:00 a.m., i heard a noise coming from the bathroom. my cat, rain, was in the doorway, and i thought there might be something in the tub. i was really freaked out, but i threw the shower curtain back, and there was nothing there. then i heard it. scratching. behind the bathroom walls. yep! so now they're just taking over, apparently.

i told my mom about it, and she thinks it's mice or rats. i know that a lot of people might just say to let the landlord know, but i'm so afraid that they will come out and try to kill them.
so what do i do?

as long as they stay behind the walls, i don't necessarily care...but is there a way for them to get through the walls??

Currently reading : Anybody Out There?: A Novel By Marian Keyes Release date: By 09 May, 2006
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Friday, June 30, 2006
"happy"
Current mood: thoughtful
Saving Jane - Jukebox
Filling up my empty days with red wineWonder what you think of me?Lying in the grass alone and wasted Nothing's how it used to be
I wanna be the first to call and tell youYesterday I heard the newsI hear you oughtta be congratulatedSo I guess that's what I'll do
I'm so happy for youI could cryYeah, I'm so elatedCross my heart and hope to dieI don't think about you every nightBefore I close my eyesI'm so happy for you baby,I could cry
Listen to the sound of my head poundingWish that it was make-believePraying for the skies to open up and Wash away your memory
I can walk around with a pretty face onEven when I'm black and blueWhat's the point in telling everybodyI'm not over you
I'm so happy for youI could cryYeah, I'm so elatedCross my heart and hope to dieI don't think about you every nightBefore I close my eyesI'm so happy for you baby,I could cry
Cry about the love we used to haveCry that I won't ever get you back
Filling up my empty days with red wineWonder what you think of me?
I'm so happy for youI could cryYeah, I'm so elatedCross my heart and hope to dieI'm so happy for youSo, so happy for youI don't think about you every nightBefore I close my eyesI'm so happy for you baby,I could cry

Currently listening : Girl Next Door By Saving Jane Release date: By 11 April, 2006
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